You log into your Facebook account and you see news of rapes and eve teasing, you open the newspaper all you find is rapes with minors, girls being raped by friends, by uncle and what not.
What is the real reason behind such incidents, why do these men don’t fear the consequences? I read an answer on Quora and it made me realize why such men are fearless. Its us, its our society, it’s the taboo that prevails in Indian society.
Read her answer below:
I am a female 23 years old. I grew up in a capital city of a small state of India. I have been molested three times in different places, different situation and by different people.
The first incident took place when I was 11 years old. I was getting out of a crowded bus. I felt a sharp pain on my chest area. It was someone trying to squeeze my barely developed breasts. At first I didn’t realize what happen. It was uncomfortable, painful and I felt weird in a very bad way. Being an introvert child I couldn’t narrate this incident to anyone. I stayed quite for a few days and would sob at night but nobody noticed.
The second incident took place during lawn tennis camp in summer vacation. The coach intensionally used to call me early. And as soon as he saw my dad(who used to drop me) go out of sight he began his game of touching me inappropriately. He touched me inappropriately trying to show how I should hold the racquet. This happened once, twice, thrice and slowly he would put his hand on my breast. Then I started feeling its not right. I stopped going to the tennis camp. My parents asked me why to which I replied with some lame reason. If it wasn’t for that incident I would still be playing tennis and pursuing it as a hobby.
The third incident took place when I was walking right outside my home with my mom. I was wearing a skirt, a long one and a kurta with jacket over it. A man passed by us on his two wheeler, he then made a u turn and pulled my skirt and ran away. I screamed. My mom was there and saw what happened. She screamed too. Then he ran away and we couldn’t do anything. I told my mom let’s ask that person(someone coming from another side) to chase that person but she denied. She abused him using all the bad words I couldn’t even think of. Then comes the most shocking part. She said don’t tell about this incident to anyone. And we never talked about it ever again.
The problem with our society is victim shaming. If a girl is molested she wouldn’t be seen as normal person. People would say things behind her back. It’s still a taboo to talk about such things.
Here in all three situations I wasn’t wearing anything that was either too short or too tight. And yet there are people who think it’s girls fault. With all the outrage that we see about the rape cases happening and the demand for strict punishment we sure are moving forward but the main thing that everyone neglects is the mental health issues which is probably be the main issue for such behavior. Only the rich people can afford to pay for a therapist. What about the poor and the economically backward people. The rapist and molesters mostly come from such background. I understand its difficult to control something in such a vast country but it’s not impossible. It can be done only if our leaders and policy makers start thinking about everyone and not just their vote banks.