HOW TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP?
Are you having trouble talking about your feelings with someone you love? Does your partner run the other way any time you bring up your feelings? If so, this may be good news for you: According to recent research, talking about your feelings is not the only—or even necessarily the best—way for couples to maintain healthy, happy and successful relationships. If you have difficulty communicating your feelings, you’re not alone. Even if you are great at it, you may still feel like you’re not getting them across to the people who matter to you. Or you may be with someone who simply doesn’t like “touchy-feely” conversations. But a number of studies have concluded that words aren’t actually necessary for meaningful and intimate interactions.
Here are 6 ways to improve emotional communication and deepen your relationship, without ever even mentioning “the F Word” (feelings):
1. Make sure you meet and talk
Another common mistake people do when it comes to communication is that they tend to discuss major issues and matters of concern over text and phone calls. This may seem convenient but it is ineffective. Texting lacks voice tone and phone calls lack facial expressions and the absence of both of them can create a situation of miscommunication. So, always discuss the big stuff in a face to face conversation.
2. Listen to respond and not to react
Every relationship goes through a phase where partners experience issues like the difference in thinking, diversified ideologies, etc. At that time, it is really important to communicate. Communication is not about listening and reacting, communication is about listening and responding. Make sure you carefully listen to what your partner is trying to tell you and reconnect it word by word inside your head. Respond only when you have understood what they are trying to say to the best of your capacity.
3. Use the word ‘I’ more than ‘You’
Now by this, I mean that instead of attacking your partner with “you” statements, take down your defenses and let them know how you are feeling. Switch your statement from “You never give time to me.” to “I feel upset when you don’t give time to me.” This will sound less accusatory and you will be able to make your point of view more approachable.
4. Try to share
Once you’ve become aware of some of the hidden shared moments you’re having with your partner, see if you can find ways to increase your daily amount of insignificant experiences together. If one—or both—of you are not so good at putting your feelings into words, or even describing the mundane details of your day, don’t worry. Go back to numbers 1 and 2 on this list. Simply spending time together doing unimportant and supposedly meaningless activities—reading the paper, listening to music, watching TV, or doing laundry—is far more important to the health of a relationship than talking about feelings. It may even be more important than talking at all.
5. Talk as well as listen
Talk about yourself, but don’t take all of the air. Finding a healthy balance between talking and listening is difficult in most relationships, but even harder as you get to know each other, so it’s important that you both get a chance to talk and listen.
6. Always and always make an eye-contact
Whenever you’re having a conversation with your partner, make sure you maintain positive eye-contact with them. Eyes can be a great way to indicate your seriousness towards a particular topic as well as will ensure your partner that you are really into him or her.